The Lords of Salem

Your opinion of this book should not be swayed by my review. I'm incredibly biased, as I've been a fan of Zombie's (both solo and with White Zombie) since I was about eleven.

That being said, this book was the shit.

Salem, Mass. Sept. 16th, 1692.

John Hawthorne, Samuel Mather and the brothers Magnus, Dean and Virgil, have spotted a coven of witches led by Margaret Morgan. Her coven has kidnapped a young pregnant girl and reaped her of her child, killing her and it in the process, in a sacrifice to

Your opinion of this book should not be swayed by my review. I'm incredibly biased, as I've been a fan of Zombie's (both solo and with White Zombie) since I was about eleven.

That being said, this book was the shit.

Salem, Mass. Sept. 16th, 1692.John Hawthorne, Samuel Mather and the brothers Magnus, Dean and Virgil, have spotted a coven of witches led by Margaret Morgan. Her coven has kidnapped a young pregnant girl and reaped her of her child, killing her and it in the process, in a sacrifice to Satan.Hawthorne, Mather and the brothers Magnus take the witches into custody, 'try' them, and execute them, the majority by merciful fire, but ringleader Margaret Morgan by slow, agonizing torture.It is done. The witches are gone.But, as Hawthorne speculates as the bodies burn, are they truly doing the work of their Lord, killing witches, one of whom was barely a teenager? Or are they only securing their own places beside the coven in hell?Salem, Mass. Now.Heidi Hawthorne, recovering heroin addict and popular local DJ of Salem's rock station.She and her fellow DJs are having their usual fun on the air, but a carved wooden box suspiciously appears in the lobby downstairs, addressed to Adelheid Elizabeth Hawthorne.Heidi.Inside the box is a vinyl record, marked only as 'The LORDS'.Confused, but far from worried, Heidi and her friends play the record on their station.It sucks.When they play it for 'trash or smash' (like Download or Delete) they get a rousing fanbase for

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the strange music that, beyond 'scary metal' they have no category for.But the strange thing is, that fanbase is all female.Murders tagged as 'ritual' are starting to happen in Salem, committed by normal townswomen Maisie Mather and Virginia Williams (nee' Magnus).Dark spirits are colliding in Salem, and Margaret Morgan and her coven are back, and the descendants of the men who saw fit to kill them are all at risk.They need a new sacrifice.Heidi begins to sleepwalk.It's hard to figure how much Rob Zombie actually wrote and how much this coauthor, B.K Evenson did, but you know what? I don't care. I personally don't think Rob Zombie just tacked his name onto this, I can see the influence he had on it. Just from being a huge fan of his music and films, I guess I can see what he would've put into it.I do, however, side with those who say this was written with a film adaptation in mind. When you hear Heidi's description, it's hard not to picture Rob's lovely wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, who was cast as Heidi in the movie (not surprising, she's a great actress).

I really don't have a problem with that, though. Rob's a visionary, a director at heart. It comes through in this story a lot, and I guess if you're not into that, don't read it.The story is horrifying and spectacular, though I can see how a lot of people would toss it off as a B-movie romp. That's fine.I just couldn't let Rob Zombie's horror book suck, you know? With that in mind, I might have glossed over anything I found dumb. A non-fan might interpret the book differently.

On a final note, this book demands to be accompanied by Rob's voice. I repeated White Zombie's La Sexorcisto: Devil Music Vol. 1, Rob's Educated Horses (it has 'Lords of Salem' on it) and White Zombie's Astro-Creep 2000 at intervals while reading.

Makes for an excellent reading experience.

God hates... The Lords of Salem. No one... Can ever save them.

...more


Category: Review

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